What to Say

How can I talk to someone about mental health?

You don’t have to be an expert in mental health to get the conversation started. Here’s what you need to know to connect with those around you about mental health and offer support to someone who might be struggling.

Create space to talk.

Sometimes, it’s best to create space specifically for a conversation about mental health. Set up time to grab coffee or go for a walk together to talk about it. If you think someone’s having a hard time, speak to them privately.

For example: “I care about you and I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. You seem more frustrated than you’ve been in a while. How are you doing?”

Don’t be afraid to speak up.

If you notice that someone is having a tough time, don’t be afraid to say something. Normalize mental health by talking about it directly and saying exactly what you’re concerned about.

For example: “I wonder if what’s happening at work these days is stressing you out.”

Tell them that it’s okay to share.

No matter what they’re struggling with, remind them that it’s okay to talk about it. Leave them space to share as much as they’re comfortable with. Let them know that whatever they’re feeling is completely okay and that they don’t have to do it alone.

Listen without judging.

Try to hear what the other person is saying with an open mind. Pay attention to the tone of their voice and their body language. You can show that you’re listening by asking questions. Give them time to share and try not to interrupt. Put away anything that will distract you, like your phone.

Respect their culture.

If you’re talking to someone from another culture, you might need to change how you support them. For example, they might want less eye contact or more personal space. They may also believe different things about mental health. Ask about their culture without judging so that you can offer the best support. Taking time to learn about their culture also shows that you care.

Open up about your own mental health if you are comfortable.

Sharing your own experiences with mental health can help others feel more comfortable talking about their own. If it comes up naturally in a conversation, you might share that you’ve struggled with your mental health. Or, you might mention that you’ve worked with a mental health professional before and found it helpful. While these comments may feel small, they show others that you’re willing to talk about mental health. Knowing that you’re a safe person to go to can be huge when someone’s struggling.

Remind them that you’re there for them.

As the conversation comes to a close, let them know that it is okay that they are feeling this way and that you’re there for them when they need you.

Connect them to the right support.

If you think they might open up more to someone else, offer to get them connected. It’s okay if you aren’t the person they need right now! You may also encourage them to practice self-help strategies or seek professional help. If you believe there are warning signs of a mental health emergency or challenge getting worse, encourage them to call Colorado Crisis Services. There is no wrong reason to call and services are available 24/7.

Dos and Don’ts of Talking About Mental Health

Do say:

  • I wanted to check-in. How are you doing?
  • How can I help?
  • Is there anything I can do to support you?
  • Thanks for opening up.
  • I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That sounds tough.
  • I’m here for you.
  • How are you feeling?
  • Can I take you to your appointment?
  • I hear you. 
  • I believe you.
  • I love you.

 

Don’t say:

  • Get over it.
  • Other people have it worse.
  • Just snap out of it.
  • Everyone feels that way.
  • You brought this on yourself.
  • Pull yourself together.
  • Try thinking happier thoughts.
  • You’re crazy.
  • It’s not that bad.
  • Grow up.
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