What To Say
How can I talk to someone about mental health?
You don’t have to be an expert in mental health to get the conversation started. Here’s what you need to know to connect with those around you about mental health and offer support to someone who might be struggling.
Create space to talk.
Sometimes, it’s best to create space specifically for a conversation about mental health. Set up time to grab coffee or go for a walk together to talk about it. If you think someone’s having a hard time, speak to them privately.
For example: "I care about you and I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately. You seem more frustrated than you've been in a while. How are you doing?”
Don’t be afraid to speak up.
If you notice that someone is having a tough time, don’t be afraid to say something. Normalize mental health by talking about it directly and saying exactly what you're concerned about.
For example: "I wonder if what's happening at work these days is stressing you out."
Tell them that it’s okay to share.
No matter what they’re struggling with, remind them that it’s okay to talk about it. Leave them space to share as much as they’re comfortable with. Let them know that whatever they’re feeling is completely okay and that they don’t have to do it alone.
Listen without judging.
Try to hear what the other person is saying with an open mind. Pay attention to the tone of their voice and their body language. You can show that you’re listening by asking questions. Give them time to share and try not to interrupt. Put away anything that will distract you, like your phone.
Respect their culture.
If you’re talking to someone from another culture, you might need to change how you support them. For example, they might want less eye contact or more personal space. They may also believe different things about mental health. Ask about their culture without judging so that you can offer the best support. Taking time to learn about their culture also shows that you care.
Open up about your own mental health if you are comfortable.
Sharing your own experiences with mental health can help others feel more comfortable talking about their own. If it comes up naturally in a conversation, you might share that you’ve struggled with your mental health. Or, you might mention that you’ve worked with a mental health professional before and found it helpful. While these comments may feel small, they show others that you’re willing to talk about mental health. Knowing that you’re a safe person to go to can be huge when someone’s struggling.
Remind them that you're there for them.
As the conversation comes to a close, let them know that it is okay that they are feeling this way and that you’re there for them when they need you.
Connect them to the right support.
If you think they might open up more to someone else, offer to get them connected. It’s okay if you aren’t the person they need right now! You may also encourage them to practice self-help strategies or seek professional help. If you believe there are warning signs of a mental health emergency or challenge getting worse, encourage them to call Colorado Crisis Services. There is no wrong reason to call and services are available 24/7.
Dos and Don'ts of Talking About Mental Health
Do say:
- I wanted to check-in. How are you doing?
- How can I help?
- Is there anything I can do to support you?
- Thanks for opening up.
- I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That sounds tough.
- I’m here for you.
- How are you feeling?
- Can I take you to your appointment?
- I hear you.
- I believe you.
- I love you.
Don't say:
- Get over it.
- Other people have it worse.
- Just snap out of it.
- Everyone feels that way.
- You brought this on yourself.
- Pull yourself together.
- Try thinking happier thoughts.
- You’re crazy.
- It’s not that bad.
- Grow up.
Additional Resources
Welcoming a new child into your home is a major life change. While many think about anxiety and depression as happening after the child is born, you can also start to feel these things during pregnancy. Both parents who were pregnant and parents who weren’t can experience these conditions.
Many new parents struggle with their mental health because of new stressors, like poor sleep or depression. Someone with pregnancy-related depression may have many of the symptoms of other depressive disorders. These can include irritation, loss of interest in things they previously enjoyed, and sadness or a low mood. They may also have symptoms related to their baby, such as a hard time bonding with their child or worry that they may hurt themselves or their child.
You can support someone who’s struggling with their mental health after having a child by learning about the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression and the most common stressors that new parents face. Check in with them in the days, weeks, and months after they welcome the baby, even if you don’t notice any signs of a mental health challenge. If you’re also a parent, bringing up your own struggles with mental health after having a child can make it easier for the other person to open up.
For additional resources, visit: https://www.postpartum.net/colorado/
If you or a loved one have experienced reproductive loss, additional resources are available here: https://reproductivegrief.org/
Source: https://parentsthrive.org/
As a parent, you might notice the signs of a mental health challenge in your child. This could include a sudden drop in their school performance, withdrawal from activities and hobbies they previously enjoyed, or becoming unusually irritable, sad, or anxious.
By noticing that your child needs support with their mental health, you can prevent a challenge from escalating to a crisis. This is a powerful way to improve your child’s life.
When you talk to your child about mental health, reassure them that they aren’t in trouble and won’t be punished for what they’re experiencing. Listen without judgment. Let them know that, even if they aren’t ready to share during this conversation, your door is always open. You can also offer other safe adults for them to talk to, such as a counselor or a therapist.
All Colorado youth are eligible to receive 6 free virtual or in person counseling sessions through the I Matter program. For more information, go to imattercolorado.org.
If you or a friend are struggling, you aren’t alone. Many young people experience mental health challenges, especially as teenagers. Starting a conversation with your friends about mental health might feel awkward. To reduce the pressure, try talking to them while you’re already doing an activity together, like playing a sport, grabbing lunch, or playing games online. Share your own experiences with mental health to help your friends feel safe opening up. If they don’t open up just then, that’s okay! By starting the conversation, you can show that you’re a safe person for them to share with when they’re ready.
Source: https://seizetheawkward.org/
More LGBTQ+ people experience challenges to their mental health than their straight, cisgender peers because of the prejudice, discrimination, and harassment that many LGBTQ+ people face. These additional stressors can worsen or cause new challenges to mental health, especially for LGBTQ+ folks who also have other marginalized identities.
This means that starting conversations about mental health with the LGBTQ+ people in your life is even more important. To ensure your conversation is as helpful and supportive as possible, take time to learn about LGBTQ+ identities and the challenges LGBTQ+ people face. Pay close attention to the unique challenges faced by those who share your loved one’s specific identities. For example, if the person you care about is transgender, you may focus on learning about how transgender people are treated in your community and around the country. This can help you to better understand their life experiences and to engage in a deeper conversation.